Over the course of a lifetime, women with ADHD learn through various channels that the way they think, work, speak, relate, and act does not match up with the preferred way of being in the world.
In short, they learn that difference is bad. And, since these women know that they are different, they learn that they are bad. A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD is the first guided workbook for women with ADHD designed to break the cycle of negative self-talk and shame-based narratives that stem from the common and limiting belief that brain differences are character flaws. Jul 1, How hard you have to work to be preceived as "normal". Instead of beating yourself up for your issues, you begin to see how your struggles are a part of you, just like your strengths.
You are finally able to celebrate all of who you are. View all 3 comments. This book was very helpful and totally nailed me. I've known for years that I had "something a bit like A. I was surprised to learn that the sluggish feelings and the inability to put thoughts into action are actually a symptom of one kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.
I read the original version, which is possibly the only reason I'm giving this 4-stars in This book was very helpful and totally nailed me.
I read the original version, which is possibly the only reason I'm giving this 4-stars instead of 5. If I can get my hands on a new copy, I may upgrade my review. The book is occasionally very dated when it refers to sources of help. The author mentions a CompuServe support group and not a single web site. She also talks about email as a tool for getting work done while avoiding distractions like the telephone without acknowledging the distraction that the computer itself has now become.
Does anyone else have close to unread emails in their inbox? And sadly the support group organization that she lists as a great place for in-person meetings disbanded in my city two years ago due to -- no joke -- the organizers being overwhelmed by keeping up with the work of running it. The original printing also has a comical amount of editing errors. You know how you start to type one thing and change your mind mid-sentence and type something else and you think you've re-worded the sentence to make sense, but in reality you've inadvertently left a stray word in the middle of the sentence that doesn't belong there?
You'll find those sorts of errors throughout the first edition of the book, which is almost adorable when you know the author herself has Attention Deficit Disorder. What I appreciate most about this book is that it is genuinely filled with content and not fluff. I've found that most self-help books are about a pamphlet's worth of good information padded out to book size through the use of large fonts, extra spacing, and a lot of meaningless blather.
This book really had a lot to say. There were diagrams and case studies, but they didn't take over the book. The author also does not pretend the solution is easy. I might wish that the book ended with a promise that "If you just do X, then you will be cured," but I respect that the author didn't try to sell a magic system that will make it all better. Personally, the biggest thing I got out of this book was the validation that the coping mechanisms that I had already figured out years ago even without a diagnosis really are necessary and feel better able to stand up to friends who "helpfully" point out that my coping mechanisms are unnecessary.
I also passively accepted a lot of the "toxic help" like the kind the author warns you about because I let people convince me that I deserved the condescending lecture about having made such a mess of things.
I've always felt guilty about "wasting" money on a professional service when I "could" have done it myself for free. If you think you might have A. View 1 comment. Nov 29, Angie rated it it was amazing. I'm being treated for ADD now with medicine and I can't believe what a difference it is making! Jun 17, Jessica rated it it was ok Shelves: It was okay. Very informative in the beginning about the common misconceptions about what ADHD is and how it often goes undiagnosed in women because it often shows up as internal inattention but not external hyperactivity - aka daydreamers.
But the rest of the book? I kept reading because I thought I would find hope. Acknowledging all my flaws didn't help me: it made me angrier at my current situation and feel vict It was okay.
Acknowledging all my flaws didn't help me: it made me angrier at my current situation and feel victimized by my past. I can't afford therapy or medication, a person doesn't just magically move up to a higher position in their field or make tons of money or live off their husband's income and figure it out from there, this is the 21st century, Solden!!
You know what? I am fine. I am now reading a book called "Refuse to Choose! Sher doesn't call it ADD, she calls it being a "Scanner", liking everything, wanting to do everything, dreaming, having hyper focus some times and not having it other times, and suggests cost-effective ways of learning to work with yourself like using pieces of paper and crayons to make goals and write down things you've accomplished Solden wishes she was empowering you, but no - I've reached the lowest low in my "disorder" from reading this book.
I recommend only the introduction and maybe the first couple of chapters. After that, please put it away - don't subject yourself to the hopelessness that I've encountered. Oct 05, Andi rated it it was amazing. ADHD is criticized by many as an over applied diagnosis. I've heard someone say, "Oh everybody has that", and I've heard others say it's just an excuse for laziness or not trying hard enough.
Frankly, I feel it is under diagnosed, especially in women. In , I inquired into the possibility that I might have it and was almost immediately dismissed. I was 18 and maybe didn't have the surest footing into my own identity, but I was pretty sure something was different about me from most everyone els ADHD is criticized by many as an over applied diagnosis.
I was 18 and maybe didn't have the surest footing into my own identity, but I was pretty sure something was different about me from most everyone else I knew. But hey- I wasn't the expert in the situation. I left the clinician's office and spent the better part of the last 20 years thinking that maybe I was going crazy.
As a young child I was put into a gifted and talented program because I was so "smart". But if this was the case, why did I feel so stupid, inept, in so many parts of my life? Finally, a year ago, someone else saw in me what I did.
I started to cry. I learned that although I do have a REALLY high IQ- which for the first time in my life feels very good to say- the gap between that and my executive functioning skills is huge.
It was thought that copies of my old report cards might help in my diagnostic testing, but as it turned out, there was no gray area in the data to compare against my grades.
One of the people I have been working with throughout all of this said that, despite all of my struggles, the fact that I have persisted through three attempts in college is remarkable.
I am eternally grateful to have had this book recommended to me. Like reading an autobiography I did not write but could have, it tied in so many things I have perceived in my being to be faulty parts. With this book, I feel validated. Like I wasn't just screwing around for my whole life.
I wish everyone who knows me would read this. To anyone who knows a daydreamer, has trouble managing time, was repeatedly told "You just weren't looking" or was called selfish, scatterbrained, weird. To someone who read, "needs to apply herself" on report cards. To the person who struggles with finishing things. To the person who "just needs to try harder". To the person who maybe thought they had it all together until suddenly one day, for whatever reason- leaving the nest, marriage, parenthood, death of a loved one- they no longer did.
ADHD is not encapsulated in the image of a boy bouncing off the walls in the classroom. It can also be the other, more quiet child in the classroom. Both are struggling to get by, but one is easier to see. It wasn't until Chapter 11 that I found some remotely useful few pages and then it was back to downhill from there. In pages, all she told the reader was that ADD is very stressful for women, it's real, and that you need to deal with it -- over, and over, again.
I will definitely be recycling this and finding something more substantial to educate me on ADD. View all 4 comments. Aug 27, Kate rated it liked it.
Helpful information, even if not all of the suggestions are practical wouldn't we all love to be able to afford daycare so we can get the housework done, bookkeepers for our businesses, and professional organizers and coaches to help us set up systems that work for us? Great ideas, but not exactly practical for most of us. But the information on the disorder and why women tend to go undiagnosed until adulthood is good, and there are helpful chapters on understanding things like why ADD might be misdiagnosed as another disorder and why we might accumulate psychological problems alongside our coping mechanisms as we struggle to keep our heads above water.
As someone else said, it can be kind of depressing at times, and I wish there had been more focus on ideas that can help those of us who can't afford to hire a babysitter to watch the kids while we do the dishes. The writing style is often a bit more dense and even confusing than I'd have preferred, especially for this topic.
But there is a lot of helpful information here that anyone can use, and I'm glad I picked this one up. Feb 08, Charlotte rated it liked it Shelves: reads. This book described so many of my ADHD scenarios to a tee.
Especially, considering the fact that I was only diagnosed last year at the age of 26! There were a few parts in the book where I had to put my Kindle down and go 'I am so glad, but also so sad that I am not the only person who has been through these sorts of experiences. By feeling sad, I mean that I feel terrible that these other girls and women have been through these same real-life scenarios that I have experienced.
Some of the advice was helpful, and has made me research into support groups I can sign up for, but a lot of Sari's advice comes down to: pay someone else to divide your difficulties and move up higher in your workplace so others can do the 'nitty gritty' parts of your job. Well: a I can't afford a personal assistant or a coach for that matter. Yes, I do realise that this sort of advice varies from person to person. Not all advice or ideas are going to work for everyone.
But I feel like these two points of advice are super outdated now! Also a lot of the advice about using technology is super outdated too. I kept converting statements such as: 'add reminders into your PDA to: 'add reminders in your smartphone and take notes on an notetaking app like Evernote' Yes, Evernote is a lifesaver for me! I still recommend adult women that suspect that they have undiagnosed ADHD to read this book.
Especially the first few chapters. The insights and scenarios that are provided in this book are definitely worth reading, as they are relatable in a way that makes me want to laugh and cry simultaneously. As mentioned, a lot of the advice was outdated for me, although there is still a lot of useful advice for someone who is considering that they have ADHD and are on the journey to a professional diagnosis.
To anyone who is reading this and is currently going through the diagnosis journey, or who suspects that they have ADHD and are only just starting their journey to diagnosis: You deserve everything, and I hope you get where you need to go in getting assistance!
Dec 13, Jonelle rated it it was amazing. Sari took a microscope to my brain in this book. My only gripe is the assumption that we all have money to hire outside help. No ma'am. Feb 11, Umi rated it really liked it. How does this book know everything about me?! As other reviewers have pointed out, so How does this book know everything about me?! Overall tho, completely indispensable. May even order a copy of this to keep as a reference, but slightly nervous it will upset the aesthetic of my bookshelf priorities.
Mar 07, Ginny rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Everyone. Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life Many women think they are the only one who struggles with the demands of work, motherhood and other issues that women face in today's society. Quite frequently women are unaware of having ADHD much less, how it contributes to these struggles. However, Ms. Solden has written an excellent book discussing this topic. She not only shares examples of what other women are facing, but also explains why the strictures Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life Many women think they are the only one who struggles with the demands of work, motherhood and other issues that women face in today's society.
She not only shares examples of what other women are facing, but also explains why the strictures of today's society has created an environment that influence these struggles with societal expectations, which often leaves them feeling alone and as if their lives are failures.
She doesn't only create an awareness of the problem but also discusses various methods of assisting these women regain a sense of control in their day to day lives through various methods, such as behavioral modification, medication, and other types of therapy methods ADHD women find useful. While reading about the personal stories of her clients with ADHD I found it quite interesting to read about women discussing some of my own personal quirks, ones I have always been told "Women don't live that way, do that , etc.
You are the only woman who does that," were actually common for adult women with ADHD. I reccomend this book to all people regardless of whether or not you are male, female, have ADHD or not. For men and the non ADHD person reading this book they will gain an insightful look at the unique struggles women with ADHD face and perhaps an understanding that will be translated into the expectation of society at large. Feb 25, Rachel Smalter Hall rated it it was amazing Shelves: american , wellness-and-self-development , non-fiction.
I was expecting to react very emotionally to this book, and was surprised when that didn't happen. Other women have said that this book changed their lives or finally made them feel understood for the first time in their lives. While I didn't have that reaction, that didn't stop this from being the best book about women and ADHD that I have found.
Sari Solden really covers it all, from diagnosis to medication, treatment, the grief cycle, and redefining your core self-concept. It's breadth made it I was expecting to react very emotionally to this book, and was surprised when that didn't happen. It's breadth made it a bit harder for me to get through than the other books that I've read about ADHD, but that's exactly why I appreciate it so much.
She takes concepts that I've only seen discussed in bits and pieces and puts them into a cohesive narrative with relatable stories and practical suggestions. And her tone is so warm and approachable. My difficulties are a little different, which meant I didn't relate to her personal anecdotes as much.
She has decades of clinical experience working with ADHD women, though, and it was through these anecdotes about her clients that I finally did catch reassuring glimpses of myself.
There were lots of moments where I found myself nodding my head and thinking, "yes, this, exactly this. Sep 23, Sheena rated it it was amazing. It's rare that I read "self-help" books to begin with. It's even more unusual when a book reads like my autobiography. She also expands on the concept, describing common traits that occur when a woman has only sort of dealt with having ADD.
Solden explains that many women struggle due to familial expectations -- the expectation that women must keep their homes and lives plus those of family memb It's rare that I read "self-help" books to begin with. Solden explains that many women struggle due to familial expectations -- the expectation that women must keep their homes and lives plus those of family members organized. I do not currently own this book, but I intend to add it to my library as soon as I can.
Jan 27, Rachel rated it liked it. This book is packed full of useful information in understanding how ADD presents itself in women. So what kept me from giving it 4 or even 5 stars? It needed more how on top of the why. This book is very long, with a lot of information, which made it very difficult for me, a person with ADHD, to process. With all the work I did to absorb the information, I learned a lot, but not a lot of how to change my circumstances.
So much wants me to rely on others, but This book is packed full of useful information in understanding how ADD presents itself in women. What do I do if I cannot get paid or free help? Jan 13, Catherine rated it it was amazing.
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